tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81676249426014933972024-02-19T23:19:20.502+08:00layers withinAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-61596155356583903812017-09-17T22:38:00.001+08:002017-09-17T22:39:03.796+08:00Write: letting it all outI think, before this I've never really felt the need to talk about what I'm feeling. In other words, I've never really acknowledged the fact that I have anxiety (mild, if you were wondering). However now, I feel it is important to accept that feeling and not just settle with it, I have to learn how to work around it and get better.<br />
<br />
I get anxious often, basically during my hours in the day, I get anxious about 10-15 times? Maybe half of that are eustresses but most of them are quite worrying. I try to reason with myself every time that happens. I think about the root of what is causing it and try to work around it. I try to breathe at a calculated pace. I try to find a quieter place if I'm outside in public and really listen to what my breathing sounds like. And if everything fails, I do the selawat. I make zikr to Allah swt to help me, make it easier for me, Ya Allah. Help me because I can't do it myself sometimes.<br />
<br />
I hope to anyone who's reading this that if you're going through the same things that I am, seriously, talk to someone about it. Let it out. If not, talk to Allah. He is the Most Merciful. I pray that Allah eases your burdens, and mine too. Ameen.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-61806186124126421022017-09-05T08:50:00.003+08:002017-09-05T08:50:52.669+08:00Poetry: (me)He came<br />
He swam<br />
He drowned<br />
He loved<br />
<br />
- the raging ocean (me)<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-10726321383933488302017-09-01T22:19:00.000+08:002017-09-01T22:19:22.544+08:00Write: renewed, and lovedHello, I'm back. And this time I feel renewed. And loved, alhamdulillah. All praises be to Allah. It's been a month since I've written a post and trust me, it has a been a great month. Not saying it was all blue skies and blooming flowers, it has been one of the better months.<br />
<br />
I finally graduated from a Diploma study Alhamdulillah. That is one thing off my list, but of course there are other things to think about. A job, sigh. This has been ongoing for so long I'm just waiting for a miracle to happen. But I'll leave it all to Him.<br />
<br />
Ah, so much has changed. I think I have been feeling a lot more positive these days. It's got a lot to do with the company that I have around me. A social support system is so much more important than you might think. I used to say things like "I don't need anyone around me" but the truth is, I do. But not just anyone. It's the ones that bring me up, that holds my head up high but at the same time, keeping me grounded. They love me for who I am and I am so blessed to have those people around me. I pray that they are all safe in Allah's hands. Ameen.<br />
<br />
I can say that I am progressing, trying to be strong mentally and physically as well. I hope this can bring hope to other people too. Pain is temporary, you will get over it, my love.<br />
<br />
Till next time.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-31445054010138459202017-07-31T11:57:00.004+08:002017-07-31T11:57:47.042+08:00Poetry: river of fire<span style="font-family: inherit;">Let's see how long it'll last</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">This effort of yours</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Will it fade</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Through time</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Will you still cross the river of fire</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For me</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Or was it just words </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The purpose was to only</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Catch me in bait</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">And letting go </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">When the feeling goes away </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">(Is love just </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">a feeling</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">to you?)</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-56140520334747195212017-07-26T22:31:00.000+08:002017-07-26T22:31:04.716+08:00Write: the shoe<span style="font-family: inherit;">I don't know why but I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. For him to say "Atikah, I think we shouldn't continue this." Probably because we are incompatible, or we are just not on the same page. Maybe he won't give a reason at all, just leaving me hanging. Like I am right now. I am hanging, waiting for the other shoe to drop. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But then he says, "Atikah, you're so important to me" and I feel so happy. Happier than I've ever been this whole entire year put together. And I want it to stay this way. Please. I think I deserve that at least. And more. So much more. </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-4798983667431180662017-07-21T11:13:00.001+08:002017-07-21T11:13:13.677+08:00Poetry: first loveNothing beats<br />
Your first love<br />
Everything after that seems mediocre<br />
Conversations can never dive past<br />
The surface level of a turf<br />
Will you go through this raging ocean with me?<br />
Or will you swim away<br />
Delving into calm waters<br />
The opposite<br />
Of meAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-25959017563106043612017-07-18T23:28:00.000+08:002017-07-18T23:29:17.125+08:00Write: dear heartDear heart,<div>Stop fluttering so much, as if you've forgotten how deep the cuts were and how splattered the tapes are right now. You're fragile, baby. </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-74815493993809648982017-07-13T23:38:00.000+08:002017-07-13T23:39:14.289+08:00Poetry: same worldMaybe writing this here<div>Would somehow spark a notion</div><div>Of us being lovers</div><div>In a different world</div><div>It could be in space</div><div>Or in paper</div><div>It wouldn't matter</div><div>As long as </div><div>We exist</div><div>In the same world </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-89940360315286968262017-07-12T13:36:00.000+08:002017-07-12T13:36:31.107+08:00write: love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGijgVhyphenhyphentSTOQmtR9M1TgRSJt4NAv1YcxYER_8CUJIDTagOkCnoeIWuSy6cWaiSvLF3O6hfjd2cj4RDBtR8gwKjUqdsmAyIa6_1JjfrXQZcxr7571_5aZnRJKsrj8cCrG9qxUt34IJtos/s1600/Unknown-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGijgVhyphenhyphentSTOQmtR9M1TgRSJt4NAv1YcxYER_8CUJIDTagOkCnoeIWuSy6cWaiSvLF3O6hfjd2cj4RDBtR8gwKjUqdsmAyIa6_1JjfrXQZcxr7571_5aZnRJKsrj8cCrG9qxUt34IJtos/s320/Unknown-3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
We all have our differences but the thing is</div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
most people tend to dwell on that </div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
with us,</div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
we draw in to our similarities</div>
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<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and what brings us together</div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
is love<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(can't believe we are ultimate squad goals with at least 10 years of friendship behind us </span><span style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">♥ )</span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-28896968650833816862017-07-10T19:56:00.000+08:002017-07-10T22:02:05.499+08:00Write: wips 2<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGXQz3Oon-2eww4vociL2x57Tbm2kGi6jm96gFODqpl_AZTxgNJ3J2BlzEN6OeUG7WTs5LWY7y6KqOQblsRsAZ0ZTp8ygq-X6S3a1VdQS2bC_woRnxx_uYLQSgzl6EDxPDXdgN9p8E3-0/s1600/Screen+Shot+2017-07-10+at+7.49.43+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" data-original-height="595" data-original-width="600" height="197" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGXQz3Oon-2eww4vociL2x57Tbm2kGi6jm96gFODqpl_AZTxgNJ3J2BlzEN6OeUG7WTs5LWY7y6KqOQblsRsAZ0ZTp8ygq-X6S3a1VdQS2bC_woRnxx_uYLQSgzl6EDxPDXdgN9p8E3-0/s200/Screen+Shot+2017-07-10+at+7.49.43+PM.png" width="200" /></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">Which one of your relationships </span></div>
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<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">Were true to you</span></div>
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<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">And which one was a rebound </span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">It seems that you can't </span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">Differentiate</span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">Between the two</span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">Or else you would have known</span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">Which was more profound</span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">//</span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">Progression is when</span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">Missing you </span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">Becomes part of my</span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">Daily routine </span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">//</span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I've learnt to let go</span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">Keep my mind free</span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">My heart at peace </span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">And maybe continue on like this</span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">Without worry</span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">Or anxiety</span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">Coming for me at every second</span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">Of the day </span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #454545; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: rgb(69 , 69 , 69); line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">//</span></div>
<div style="color: rgb(69 , 69 , 69); line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: rgb(69 , 69 , 69); line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">(Yay second wip! Ok maybe not so 'yay', I need to keep vomiting more words but I haven't been feeling a lot these days damn it)</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-63881933250750259992017-07-09T19:37:00.000+08:002017-07-09T19:40:33.626+08:00Poetry: soulmateMe?<div>I am a huge believer in soulmates</div><div>He is there </div><div>Patiently waiting </div><div>We are but in different directions </div><div>At this moment </div><div>It is fate</div><div>And I will wait</div><div>Till then,</div><div>Keep your heart for me</div><div>And I'll save mine</div><div>For you</div><div>Only</div><div><br></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-16565167348724595972017-07-06T09:01:00.000+08:002017-07-06T09:03:03.478+08:00Poetry: you and themThe difference between you <div>And all the other guys I'll meet </div><div>You are passionate love </div><div>While the rest claim to have </div><div>Only a quarter of what we had </div><div><br></div><div>(I still hold on to you </div><div>Like a lifeboat </div><div>In drowning waters) </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-48412005962877575422017-07-03T15:28:00.001+08:002017-07-03T15:29:43.778+08:00Style: Eid Mubarak<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6LO0gF8_A1QI2EGiEHbTes1Aq7tBjrp7VlGS0_nBSpj-bElBW5Yg7nukHKSMeOB7eHJlrYYlGivmYcG9vFhEzXL1CM3AB7YH3YpDjj5Htt4Go_5k0fCUxH41IWh5JqQWFdMlWAFOjRAo/s1600/19702977_10207800339001417_2856228588190623480_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1280" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6LO0gF8_A1QI2EGiEHbTes1Aq7tBjrp7VlGS0_nBSpj-bElBW5Yg7nukHKSMeOB7eHJlrYYlGivmYcG9vFhEzXL1CM3AB7YH3YpDjj5Htt4Go_5k0fCUxH41IWh5JqQWFdMlWAFOjRAo/s320/19702977_10207800339001417_2856228588190623480_o.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
<br />
Alhamdulillah, Syawal has come to greet us once again even though I am sad that we have to say goodbye to Ramadan. Insya Allah, we will meet again, next year ameen.<br />
<br />
I'm a bit late to the party, but I've been wanting to post a little bit about my outfit and makeup during the first and second Eid. Lel. Y'all probably don't care but I do so here we go!<br />
<br />
My family and I went for the blue theme this year - and needless to say, so did everyone else's family! We all got the memo except for the ones who went for a different color. haha, jks. Anyways, I feel like everyone feels the need to spend a lot (and I mean a lot) for their outfit that they will only wear once a year (let's be honest). And lemme tell you, I spent less than $50 to get the whole look in places that may be quite obvious, and some, not so.<br />
<br />
<u>Glitter shawl:</u> Obviously, Geylang JCC<br />
<u>Sleeve drama top:</u> Bugis Street (level 2 has better deals and lesser people!)<br />
<u>Batik skirt:</u> Batam, for only $15 can u believe it<br />
<u>Shoes:</u> Rubi (staff discount lmao, #notashamed)<br />
<br />
So basically, it took me a while for me to find all these goodies but if I can save a bit here and there, why not right? And for makeup, I didn't buy new things (omg this is the new Atikah) cos I thought, if I'm comfortable with the ones I have, why do I want to try something completely new on an important day? Haha.<br />
<br />
<u>Face:</u> catrice prime and fine primer, la girl foundation, innisfree no sebum powder, elf contour palette, the balm mary lou manizer, benefit rockateur blush<br />
<u>Eyes:</u> elf mad for matte 2, clio eyeliner, covergirl volume mascara, (and some lens I bought from a random optics store)<br />
<u>Lips:</u> kat von d everlasting liquid lipstick in lolita II<br />
<br />
So yes, that's about it. I've been trying out contact lenses cos I need help with seeing and I can say that I've been loving it so far. They are far more comfortable than my huge chunk of glasses I must say!<br />
<br />
Ok till next time.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-7505044466855677202017-07-01T03:58:00.000+08:002017-07-01T04:07:12.952+08:00Write: yours truly I woke up from a bad dream crying. It would've been sufficient to say it was a nightmare but it wasn't. It wasn't bad or scary or tragic enough. It was a conversation in my head that I kept replaying over and over while I'm conscious, it has somehow moved to my dreams. It was just a conversation and I broke.<div><br></div><div>But I know the message was pretty clear. The thing that I've been wanting to tell myself more often: let yourself heal. And more. So here's a post dedicated to me, yours truly.</div><div><br></div><div>I know you're struggling. I know you've been keeping up a happy mask to keep everyone off your back. I know your heart still hurts. But don't stop yourself from crying. If you're in pain, let it out. Acknowledge that pain, bring it up to surface and go on from there. Don't let it get stuck in the hollows of your heart. Better yet, clean it out. It will take time - a whole lot of time, but it'll be worth it.<span style="font-size: 12pt; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"> I know things will get better, so trust Him. You will be happier, you do deserve better. Be strong, Atikah, you can do this. You will get there, to the embraces of happy and success. </span></div><div><br></div><div>I know you will and I know you can. Trust Him. </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-59387209001278812632017-06-29T22:17:00.000+08:002017-06-29T22:17:26.915+08:00Poetry: mind you<span style="font-family: inherit;">I want to know what's on your mind</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">He says</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">His eyes full of expression</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">True sincerity from his heart</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Curiousity taming the cat </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But why, I ask,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">My mind is a terrible place </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It's full of facades</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Trapped ideas</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Sad monologues </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">You will only run away after knowing about it</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Too many instances where it has happened</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Left alone for these reasons</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It's trivial but it builds up</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So don't ask me what's on my mind </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Find out</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">And love me right </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-29164459601365476862017-06-23T13:44:00.003+08:002017-07-10T21:19:52.025+08:00Write: wips 1 <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilSZQGPSnxo47xHBhr2fKI0cjdEyIQX3PgHPJmmQ9Aif-GySYIsGYUhcGTFEAKVoBh94BNM9ccRWYMMHzeJMkDInGixedi092BbcFE2TkdyAFDrQ9sWVIDd9A4f9IbZBB38YUF3BzDjjU/s1600/image1-2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilSZQGPSnxo47xHBhr2fKI0cjdEyIQX3PgHPJmmQ9Aif-GySYIsGYUhcGTFEAKVoBh94BNM9ccRWYMMHzeJMkDInGixedi092BbcFE2TkdyAFDrQ9sWVIDd9A4f9IbZBB38YUF3BzDjjU/s320/image1-2.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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The gifts you gave me</div>
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I still hold on to them</div>
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Like a prize possession</div>
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That I can't seem to let go of</div>
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And I can't let go of you</div>
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Just yet</div>
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//</div>
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I am happy for you</div>
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As much as I ache</div>
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For the heart that will never be mine</div>
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//</div>
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I need to talk to you</div>
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To sleep</div>
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Like chamomile tea</div>
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It's bitter</div>
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But I'll drink it everyday </div>
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//</div>
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(so these are work in progresses that I won't work on anymore since I've run out of ideas for them therefore why they are all in one post. It's been sitting in my drafts for a week so why not)</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-32106101275884535222017-06-23T06:25:00.000+08:002017-06-23T06:48:41.570+08:00Write: career and whatnotsPost grad always mean one thing - thinking about your career. And I know people say things like take your time and stuff like that, but the economy does not give you that privilege. So you know, I'm still struggling trying to find out what I actually want to do in real life, not the things I think about in my head. Cos being a neuro psychologist or a school counselor sounds damn cool in my brain. In reality, those two are pretty hard to achieve - not impossible - but it just takes a lot of time. <div><br></div><div>For now, what is it really that I want to do? I've been in retail for more than a year now but is it really the path I want to take? A store manager, HR manager etc sounds like a great future advancement, but for now, is being a retail team member even worth it? Now pros: it's good money cos shift hours, I will be busy during the week, good experience I guess (?). and there's cons: working on weekends, basically no life, standing for hoursssss</div><div><br></div><div>But to be honest, being in a retail platform right now is not so bad. I'm just complaining cos you know, that's what humans do. I have no problem with being busy most days during the week cos (a) I have no other commitments and (b) if I'm not at work, I'll probably be at home, reading. I don't really have a social life to lose haha. </div><div><br></div><div>Right now - post grad life - is probably one of the things that I have to go through among other ones. I just have to cruise through this, apply for as many jobs as I could and run with it. I have a lot of time right now, alhamdulillah for that. I know some people would want to take my place in a heartbeat because time is also a privilege. So I'll enjoy this moment all I can. Without worry, Insya Allah and hope for the best. Pray for me :')</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-46330295853955067982017-06-21T06:18:00.000+08:002017-06-21T06:18:13.180+08:00Write: buttery things<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlI0bYiY7T2TZZleWiUySUDIHysWHsxjE5J6zfapUfmP046jCz2nErblxfOpWHx_rGOok0kUgDsD7rwJevJQXBEeJ3ZdW2qqJijnFrUjBlLOvaop6TZwwBzVFQ8VXTKx8Eo-K3eiLMnEk/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlI0bYiY7T2TZZleWiUySUDIHysWHsxjE5J6zfapUfmP046jCz2nErblxfOpWHx_rGOok0kUgDsD7rwJevJQXBEeJ3ZdW2qqJijnFrUjBlLOvaop6TZwwBzVFQ8VXTKx8Eo-K3eiLMnEk/s320/FullSizeRender.jpg" width="240" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3hXaiB-pex4bGwy-sOFW75sy2xcf8KOkzsvljAHktu6AdDzF-dlvAERbGWKhDnPaEunlrvJE6oQmTbGwE6mM3ekbrQ9EWyGqerSlS38cestLlPdzhODb5oux2Pe-wWdAaUuwI4tSiIdM/s1600/FullSizeRender-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3hXaiB-pex4bGwy-sOFW75sy2xcf8KOkzsvljAHktu6AdDzF-dlvAERbGWKhDnPaEunlrvJE6oQmTbGwE6mM3ekbrQ9EWyGqerSlS38cestLlPdzhODb5oux2Pe-wWdAaUuwI4tSiIdM/s320/FullSizeRender-2.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="http://https//www.nigella.com/recipes/butter-cut-out-cookies" title="">(butter cookies recipe by nigella)</a></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-size: 12pt;">It's been an ongoing thing for a while for me to stress bake. From moving to a different country, to meeting new people to new school, new job etc it has been one crazy ride for me in Singapore. However, I do feel super accomplished. I've done a lot for the past year or so, and sometimes I like to take a step back and just reflect. Whenever I feel like things are getting too heavy on my shoulders, I bake. I guess the perks of being stressed during this time of the year is quite useful then haha.</span></div>
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Anyways I would like to talk more about stress baking. It's been an outlet for me since I started learning how to bake. How do I say it... it's just therapeutic. It's less expensive than shopping, that much I know haha. But the feeling of accomplishment after you've done baking, now that feeling overrides the stress. Don't get me wrong, the stress is still there but it's manageable. Baking clears my mind. It makes me more focused so I don't get distracted. Gives me a goal. So yes, stress baking is not always bad. </div>
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And of course, even if I still feel like crap afterwards, I can munch on the goodies I made. Not during Ramadan of course! It's a nice treat, really. And it's a win-win situation I must say. </div>
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8167624942601493397" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8167624942601493397" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a>I also feel the same about writing. Whenever I write, my mind can finally breathe. If you look into what I think about on a daily basis, it's quite suffocating. I think a lot. Probably more than I should. Basically what I'm trying to say is, I have a lot of weaknesses. But I also try to make it my strength, as best as I can. 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼</div>
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<br />
Also I wanna add tips to make cookies in humid weather:<br />
1. Chill your dough for half an hour or so (cover it in cling wrap). It makes a world of difference!<br />
2. Leave the rest of the dough in the fridge while using half so it won't be mushy<br />
3. If you're using a cookie cutter, dip it in flour before inserting it to the dough, that way it won't stick<br />
(I had to learn all of these the hard way ;A;)<br />
<br />
Have fun making kueh raya and spend your time wisely during these last 5 days of Ramadan! </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-38679422286813109162017-06-18T06:42:00.000+08:002017-06-19T18:21:14.935+08:00Write: let's empower each other<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8167624942601493397" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8167624942601493397" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">I think women in general feel the need to compare to other women. Sometimes it's not even jealousy, it could be downright hating yourself because you don't have certain things in your life. And that's toxic, I feel. When you go on social media and you see all these beautiful women, the things that they have achieved and that perfect life they lead, it's so easy to look down on yourself. I know because I've been there and even now, I catch myself doing that once in a while. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">So what do you do when that happens? You make du'a for them. Pray that they are happy with that life, praise Allah for their beauty and most importantly, if it's something that you want to achieve, pray to Allah for that. Maybe you want her career, or her self-esteem etc pray to Him. Never underestimate the power of du'a. Seriously. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Ok but on a sidenote, just look at your own social media. What kind of posts do you have? What details in your life have you shared? It's quite selective, right? It's the same with everyone, even me. So why mull over things like that. I know, it's not that easy. However, comparisons like these may be a way for you to think bigger from another perspective. It could mean that you can change for the better, for the sake of Allah. </span><br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8167624942601493397" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8167624942601493397" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Remember, women are meant to empower another. We go through so much on our daily lives (ladies, you know this).<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-size: 12pt;">We really don't need to feel irrelevant and have so much hatred for others to burden our already heavy shoulders. Let go of that negative energy and insya Allah, you'll be a better person.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: inherit;">(A small thought after Fajr prayers, hope it benefits!)</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-79213954579422942832017-06-16T18:51:00.000+08:002017-06-16T18:56:17.691+08:00When I lower my head on the ground<br />
<div>
And cry to Allah </div>
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I know everything will be fine</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-85996518558726150962017-06-15T23:10:00.004+08:002017-06-15T23:10:54.095+08:00Poetry: can you?<span style="font-family: inherit;">It's so disheartening</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">When you work so hard on something</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But there is a lack of trust</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">And there is no support</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So you walk alone</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">This lonely path is only for the strong</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But I am not</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I am barely living</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So help me</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Give me hope when there is no light </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Back me up when I'm down</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Take my hand</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Out of this darkness</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I am scared to be here</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So help me</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-80550465308087822872017-06-13T14:53:00.002+08:002017-06-15T00:17:45.117+08:00Poetry: I want it back<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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How do lovers turn into strangers<br>
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Is the question I ask </div>
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What good would it be if we stayed lovers</div>
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But hide from them</div>
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As if we were outlanders</div>
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If you had left me to ignorance</div>
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We wouldn't be in this mess</div>
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Take responsibility for my heart</div>
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And don't digress</div>
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Take back the pain</div>
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Soothe me with kindness</div>
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And surface with happiness</div>
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I, too, want to love again</div>
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Will it be the same?</div>
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Give it back</div>
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My heart that you severely cut</div>
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Give it back in full shape</div>
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Take responsibility </div>
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And don't digress</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-22956530826008577252017-06-13T14:52:00.001+08:002017-06-13T14:58:49.310+08:00Write: let me heal<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I've been writing words of pain and attachment as if there's no healing. It is there in this world, for you to see and hear and feel. Allah gave us trials because we are chosen to be tested. It tests us with patience and dignity and strength. Oh Allah, forgive me if I was careless. The healing is in The Book where words can be exchanged with your Maker.<br />
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I've been sad and numb but Allah reminds us again that: </div>
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"لا يكلف الله نفساً إلاّ وسعها"</div>
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(2:286) "Allah does not burden a soul beyond its capacity."</div>
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Whenever I read this ayah, I feel stronger. Like fire in my veins. And I'll overcome this trial, with Allah's will, come back stronger than before. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcTOdT-3YKzMnd_MMyMEokscXk0OY9ttZ11j41HjP2-kQNoH70LH4Ouln_88AxQIKE8TWVld1d3F592k26K0qE4EKUfqxclETMZIKnok-OUFzlUArGBLcpPlD113NzXOX9T2WygZ1oKeg/s1600/image1-2.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1136" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcTOdT-3YKzMnd_MMyMEokscXk0OY9ttZ11j41HjP2-kQNoH70LH4Ouln_88AxQIKE8TWVld1d3F592k26K0qE4EKUfqxclETMZIKnok-OUFzlUArGBLcpPlD113NzXOX9T2WygZ1oKeg/s320/image1-2.PNG" width="180" /></a></div>
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Ameen.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-32282939295460769972017-06-12T20:54:00.000+08:002017-06-12T20:59:23.199+08:00Poetry: fragile heartWhy do you have to bring back this pain<div>The one that I've been wanting to leave behind</div><div>My heart is still so fragile </div><div>It is like walking on a broken glass</div><div>Especially for the fact that it was carelessly taped</div><div><br></div><div>I want you to know that</div><div>You don't have to pity me</div><div>I am okay</div><div>Because I say I am </div><div>Love her as much as you loved me</div><div>If not more</div><div>And don't ask me to come back</div><div>Because I am not the one for you</div><div>And you're not mine</div><div><br></div><div>So accept the fact that</div><div>We're both going separate ways</div><div>In two different directions</div><div>Away from each other </div><div>It is the best for us </div><div>So leave me be</div><div>And I'll let you live yours</div><div><br></div><div>We will be okay</div><div>I will be okay</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8167624942601493397.post-28263368871820964422017-06-11T21:45:00.000+08:002017-06-12T09:30:24.502+08:00Write: be youFor a while now I've been sad and tired of being used as a woman and as a human with feelings, that I've just been numb. I haven't been able to express myself properly and my mind has been all over the place. That was last month. And I would like to change that in the months to come. I would like to be someone better. A new me, or the old me, it wouldn't matter. Because it'd be better, I promise.<div><br></div><div>For some reason, after I've cleared my mind and cleansed whatever toxic left in my heart, another thing happened. These things, I take it as signs, they are back and they come with pain. Triggers that won't let me sleep at night. They won't leave me alone. </div><div><br></div><div>And so, I'd like to say, (a trigger with a mind) if you're reading this: Be happy with your life. Don't have sleepless nights because of your insecurity. I've been there and it hurts. It pains your heart and ruins your sleep. Don't do that to yourself. Just be you and the best person to accept that is you. Don't ever compare yourself to anyone, that's one thing I would like to emphasize. And it's better to not find out things you don't have to know. Save yourself the heartbreak. </div><div><br></div><div>Okay, that's it. I am more than happy to talk with anyone of my readers and followers! Really, just message me and I'll be there :)</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05437178248633310070noreply@blogger.com